Week 8-12 onwards: Sleep shaping

This is the age from which ‘sleep shaping’ can really start in a more structured way. It is fundamentally about helping babies start to learn to fall asleep on their own. At this stage, we call it sleep shaping because it is just shaping their sleep so that they go on to become great little sleepers. This is not sleep training, as such. It involves being fully responsive to a baby, but at the same time giving them the chance to learn to fall asleep independently.

There is no right or wrong time to start sleep shaping with a baby. Remember this is NOT about leaving a baby to cry. Slowly helping baby learn to settle on their own can be hugely beneficial to sleep now and throughout the four month regression too. The parent choosing the time that feels right for them is crucial.

A client might seek help at this stage for several reasons:

Perhaps their baby is 12 weeks and they have followed my tiny baby sleep programme so far, but have been doing most of baby’s sleep on them and would like to move away from this
Perhaps they are joining us with a 4 month old who has hit the four month regression
Or perhaps they have a 12 week old who they would like to nap better and feel as though now is the right time to start work on their sleep.

I recommend 2 options for this, which I explain in detail in the video

The Baby Steps Approach
The Cuddle and Calm Approach:
- A particularly windy baby, who might struggle to settle laying on their back will need to go for the cuddle and calm approach. A reflux baby will also need this approach.

HANDOUTS FOR BABY STEPS AND CUDDLE AND CALM AVAILABLE AS PDF IN MODULE 8

How to implement an approach:

For each sleep shaping approach, I recommend trying for one nap a day if baby is 8-12 weeks of age, or for two naps a day if baby is 12 weeks +. Ideally, these are the first and second naps of the day, rather than naps later in the day which become a lot harder to achieve.

Before starting each approach, parents should have started to implement a consistent bedtime routine before naps, such as my recommendation:

take baby into their room and nappy change if needed
a short story
pop baby into their sleeping bag or swaddle
sing to baby, with a cuddle and to signal bed is on its way
place baby into their crib or cot and say the sleepytime sentence

Once baby is down in their cot, the parent will use whichever approach they have chosen to try and settle them to sleep.

How long should someone try to settle baby for using one of the approaches?

From 8-12 weeks	15 minutes max. If baby is not asleep in this time, I recommend the parent stops and gets baby to sleep however best they can. This age is about taking things slowly and practising. There are so many variables that affect babies’ ability to go to sleep, so things will vary each day.
From 12 to 15 weeks	30 minutes at the start of a nap or in the evening. If also working on lengthening naps, the approach should also be used when baby wakes after a short nap (e.g 30-45 minutes). If choosing to use this for lengthening naps, try for 30 minutes and then if they are still fighting it, abandon the nap and try again another day.
16 weeks and above	Up to 45 minutes at the beginning of a nap, or in the evening, and then for 30 minutes to lengthen daytime naps.

How quickly will you see results?

This depends on the age of the baby and when sleep shaping was started. With a smaller baby, it is really just about practising the sleep shaping approach and giving baby a chance to learn to settle, without rushing them into it. It is therefore a slower process; over a number of weeks, a parent will start to see their baby falling asleep more quickly each time, and soon falling asleep by themselves. The best and most beautiful thing is to sit and watch a small baby confidently fall asleep on their own.

With a baby who is 12 weeks and over, improvement in their sleep should happen more quickly, within around a week to ten days. This is only if the parent has been consistent though – e.g. used the approach for two naps a day, and in the evening.