Night feeding and dream feeds:

There are many different reasons that babies will feed at nighttime, and only one of those reasons is hunger. A baby may feed to send themselves back to sleep, for comfort, because they are growing, if they are learning a new skill and for lots of other reasons too.

Each parent will need to decide what they feel comfortable with when it comes to feeding on demand. Some of my clients are really happy to feed on demand and that may mean an 8 month old feeding every 1-2 hours at nighttime, which I have seen plenty of times in the past and Mum has been totally fine with – until maybe she wants to start back at work and then it becomes more of a concern. Other clients are keen to get baby sleeping through the night, only feeding when the baby actually needs to feed (hunger), from a very early age.

Babies may have fed every few hours for a year or more in generations gone by, and certainly still do in many cultures and families today, but if a family is struggling with the impact of this, then it does not have to be their normal.

Modern-day life is very different and some of the reasons a family may decide they can’t follow an on-demand approach overnight include:

Parenting alone
Little family support
Both parents returning to work (more financial pressure than ever)
Mental health suffering from lack of sleep
A fast-paced lifestyle means sleep is more of a priority
Relationship suffering from sleep deprivation & reasons above

Even so, some families worry that not feeding on demand at night is somehow ‘mean’ and feel guilty about it. Assuming baby is physically ready, this just isn’t true. A baby will be just as loved and cared for, just with a little help and guidance on sleeping on their own at night. Some of the most attached and secure children I have seen have been brilliant sleepers with no nighttime feeds.

Is night feeding necessary or not?

In the routine section, I have given rough guidelines for what I aim for. During one-to-one sessions with clients you will need to look into baby’s daytime milk intake; whether Mum has a good milk supply, how much solid food they are eating per meal, what amount of milk they are having and so on… The following questions are good ones to ask:

Does baby appear satisfied after feeds?
Is baby able to go a few hours between feeds?
Has weight gain been good?
Is baby enjoying their milk/solids?
Is baby on three solid meals a day if over 7 months of age?

If you are happy that the above questions are mostly answered with a ‘yes’, then it is likely that baby is feeding well and therefore you can aim for the guidelines on my routines.

For 5 months plus

Babies of 5 months plus may still need one nighttime feed. Once baby is on solids, they should be able to drop down to no nighttime feeds (6-7 months of age)

Nighttime feeding plans

For 2 night feeds:

If the family want to keep two night feeds, but know that there will be additional feeds to get rid of, I recommend the following (if following a 7 pm to 7 pm bedtime):

If baby wakes before 10.30 pm (roughly four hours since their last feed), re-settle them with a settling method, rather than feeding them
If they wake up and it has been four hours or more since last feeding, feed them (encouraging a nice big feed and possible a nappy change halfway to increase feed intake)
If baby wakes less than 4 hours after their first night feed, re-settle them with a settling method rather than feed them
If it has been more than four hours since their first nighttime feed, then feed them again.
Once baby has had their second night feed, ANY wakeups after this feed but before 6.30/7 am should be a re-settle using the chosen sleep method. This means even if baby wakes up at 5 am, you should continue with the approach until 6.30 am, and then get them up and start the day.

For 1 night feed:

If planning on keeping just one night feed, decide whether this will be a dream feed or not.

To dream feed or not to dream feed?

A ‘dream feed’ means to pick up a baby while they are asleep and offer them a feed (be it breast or bottle), therefore ‘tanking them up’ for the night ahead so they are less likely to wake throughout the second half of the night. The idea is that parents can stay up to feed baby and then get a good solid amount of sleep afterwards.

There are a few things to think about before embarking on a dream feed routine with a baby:

How old is the baby? Under 12 weeks of age, babies are likely to wake regularly throughout the night anyway, so waking them to dream feed makes little sense. However, if a baby is 12 weeks or more and the family is struggling with multiple nighttime wakings, trying a dream feed is a good option to reduce wakings later in the night.
What time do the parents want to go to bed? The idea of a dream feed is that it is given at around 10-11 pm, ideally just before the parents go to bed. However, if the parents are usually in bed by 9 pm and cannot face the idea of setting an alarm, then a dream feed is not for them. It is worth reminding though that a dream feed should encourage a baby to sleep from the dream feed through to 6-7 am. So it may give parents a larger chunk of sleep, even after having gone to bed later.
Breast or bottle feeding? Breastfeeding mums who are not giving bottles, or whose baby will not take a bottle will be less inclined to dream feed as they still need to wake anyway. However, if bottle feeding, or happy to add in a bottle to a breastfed baby’s routine, then mums will benefit from a dream feed, as the other parent can do it and mum can then get to bed earlier and have a good night’s sleep!
Sensitive tummy/reflux? If baby has reflux, then it is likely that they will be more uncomfortable with a big tummy full of milk at 10.30 pm. Therefore, it is better with most reflux babies to wait until they are hungry to feed them.

Once whether to dream feed or not is decided, this is how 1 feed nights should work:

If the night feed will be a dream feed, go into baby at around 10.30 pm, feed them (they will usually stay asleep) and then put them back down. Any other nighttime wakeups before 6.30/7 am should then be a re-settle using the settling method chosen.
If the night feed is not a dream feed, then set a ‘cut off’ point for it. For example, if baby is 5 months old and your gut feeling is that they can probably go until at least 1 am without feeding, use the settling method for any wake ups that happen before 1 am, feed baby the first time they wake after 1 am, and then re-settle baby using the settling method for any subsequent wakeups.

Dropping the dream feed

Obviously, this depends on the individual baby, but as a rule of thumb, once a baby is on three solid meals a day, they can drop the dream feed. This can be done by:

Gradually moving the time earlier by 15 minutes until you are at 9 pm and then dropping the feed altogether.
Or by reducing the amount of milk being given, or time in minutes of feeding if it is a breastfeed.

Some babies are ready sooner, and most of my clients have dropped the dream feed ‘by accident’, by going to bed early and forgetting to set an alarm or by just missing it to see what happens – waking up to a baby who magically slept through the night! It is always worth just giving it a try.

Dropping the night feed (not a dream feed):

If baby starts sleeping through the night with just one night feed, then, assuming they are in a good routine and able to settle themselves to sleep, it is most likely that their night feed will disappear naturally.

If baby does not do this, and hunger does not seem to be the issue (as they are on three solid meals a day, and parents are happy and confident with their milk intake), then you may wish to revisit a sleep method and spend a few nights dropping the night feed for baby by settling in another way instead.